Let’s face facts here: New Years has come and gone. Look at you- still sitting there on your nasty couch, gorging yourself with these buckets of ice cream, countless bottles of beer, stretching out those same old gray, Champion sweatpants with the endlessly expanding crotch hole, refusing to embrace the resolutions that you promised yourself? Disgusting.
The New York City Department of Parks and Recreation refuses to let you off that easy, by making it easier than ever before to get yourself in shape. Shape Up NYC is a program that offers free fitness classes every single week at dozens of locations in each of the 5 boroughs. Monday’s kickoff of events was just the beginning to molding a newer, slimmer version of yourself in 2011. The website allows you to simply log on, and without even pre-registering for classes, find suitable schedule matches in your area to achieve your fitness goals. And best of all, it’s all free.
The Parks Department website lists all of the free weekly programs offered throughout the city. But for the sake of convenience, and lord knows sometimes that’s the difference between getting off the couch or watching another episode of “Bones,” input your zip code to find the classes offered nearest to you. For instance, in Brooklyn this morning, the Herbert Von King Cultural Arts Recreation Center offers “Tight & Right” at 10am, and the Red Hook Recreation Center offers “Zumba” at the same time. There are a ton of options available for men too, like “Boot Camp,” “Kickboxing,” and “Aerobics.”
Stop being embarrassed of the way you look shirtless. Ditch that last pitcher of sangria or that bucket of fried chicken and take advantage of one of New York City’s fine free programs, implemented to make you a better person and live a longer life. It’s time for you to Shape Up, New York. You sloppy bastards.
- Jane Van Arsdale