Features NY Life — 07 October 2010
Halloween Countdown – Halloween in New York City, the Alan Smithee Way

The Saturday night of Halloween weekend is a major outing in New York City for both locals and visitors alike. The night can only be compared to New Years Eve in Times Square, in its size and sheer veracity. Everywhere you go some type of Halloween activity is going on.  The problem is that many of these are downright awful.  And yes, you can call me a negative Nancy.  It was my nickname in high school.  But these gripes are well documented by many a New Yorker.  LocalBozo.com delivers of all the spots to avoid this All Hallows Eve in order to have the best night possible.

The West Village Halloween Parade
Everyone loves a parade, right? Wrong.  I attended this parade a few years ago and I will never return.  Sure the Parade is a gas for all the puppeteers’ and drag queens.  But for the common spectator it means a lot of standing around, most likely ten people deep, trying to see anything. Also if you do try to attend the Parade don’t bring any alcohol that you can’t easily disguise as a cup of coffee or a soda. The NYPD does not take kindly to open containers and will ticket and/or arrest you without question. I love NY!

Cheeseball Bars with Deals
Hey, forty dollars for all you can drink would sound good to anyone, but on Halloween in Manhattan, this deal is quite suspect.  Remember if you know about the deal, then that means everyone ranging from Hoboken to the Upper East Side knows about it as well. This makes for huge waits for drinks and being elbow to elbow with folks that may not quite be your cup of tea. Also, don’t forget you will be wearing a costume, which will most likely be making you sweat about an hour into the night.

All the Right Moves
Halloween revelers can rejoice, all is not rotten in the city of Gotham.  When Halloween weekend approaches, you should take your time in choosing your plans.  Apartment parties are always the way to go. If an invite comes your way, grab a mullet wig and a case of Beast and call it a night, because you’re set.  But chances are going out to a bar will be the only option.  First off guys, wear a costume that’s comfortable.  Pick a theme that’s easy and recognizable. You don’t want to be the guy at the bar wearing a picture frame, telling people you’re a living painting. That pretty much guarantees a crappy night.  Also never wear a mask.  Remember, you are likely going to bar, which involves drinking.  It is incredibly annoying to have to constantly lift a rubber mask to drink your beer.

Since it is Halloween, why not venture to a dive. The drinks will be cheap, the crowd will most likely really be into the Halloween spirit, and the music selection will be solid as well.  It will be a fun, possibly wild time, but without all the D-bags you’ll find at the other bars, who think they are the first person to ever dress like Clark Kent, right before becoming Superman.  Most of all Halloween is fun, and you should make it your own. Be sure to check back here for Halloween event updates, as we continue our LocalBozo Halloween Countdown.  Sure, there are tons of lousy things to do on Halloween in New York City, but for the most part this is an amazing city to celebrate this yearly holiday of trick & boozy treats.

-  Alan Smithee

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